Help wanted

I wonder if the clear-writing specialists are responsible for the text on this page. Or maybe Miss Teen South Carolina pitched in?

our lives or our life

I remember being confused about why some people said, "We have a wonderful life together," while others said, "Our lives are ..." I understand it now but was reminded that I didn't at one point when someone said she was confused by why some say, "We have our whole lives ahead of us," and others, "We have our whole life ahead.." in the same context.

Our life - two or more individuals sharing one life together
Our lives - each individual having his/her own life

'Oiwi3

Aloha mai!

Pat and I were discussing alternatives for the big project and she mentioned Brandy McDougall who's an editor of the 'Oiwi Journals.



I'm sure many of you have already heard of 'Oiwi, but just in case I'm bringing my volume three copy tomorrow. The journal is made up of poems, collages, stories, and drawings from Hawaiian artists. One of my favorite pieces is from 'Imaikalani Kanahele.

Waimanalo
There are rainbows here in paradise
reflecting sunlight through drops of water
You know what, bra?
The same thing happen
when sunlight refracts through tears
you get salty rainbows, bra.

Waimanalo beach
cold
cold winds
howl
blow salty
rainbows.

Seen in print: dangling modifier

Having played with just about everyone imaginable in the state, including Uncle Bla Pahinui and Robi Kahakalau, the crowd on Friday is certain to be as diverse as the influences on Planas' music.

A nice sentence, but it's Chris Planas—not the crowd—who has played with the state's musicians.

Editing while at karaoke

Hey everyone hope you all had a good long weekend. While I was out singing karaoke with my friends last week I came across something that I wanted to show. Notice that in the warning sign it should read ripped instead of rip and charged instead of charge. Before I took this class I don't think this would have ever bothered me.
ry

Mistaken

Hey everyone. I wanted to write a follow-up on one of my posts a couple of weeks ago. In that post I said that I noticed a ton of errors in autobiographies. This past weekend I figured I buy another one and read through it since we had a long weekend (yes it was another wrestling one.) Being the pessimist that I am I thought that this one would be the worst book in terms of editing. I was alarmed to find out that the book was very well written and had few errors. It's interesting to note that the author of the book didn't even graduate from high school. Hopefully the trend continues when I read more autobiographies and I don't have to read them with a red pencil in hand.

The Judgment of Dog

I love the Advertiser's Letters and Commentary section. It's like a bad grammar shooting gallery. Here's one from Tuesday:

“It's not about the judgment of Dog or Christian beliefs. It's about a man who puts himself in the public eye and calls himself a readjusted criminal and a role model for our kids. Talks the talk but falls very short of any of the above.”

In the first sentence, “the judgment of Dog” is kind of ambiguous. I'm not really sure whether the author is referring to Dog's sense of judgment or the people's opinions of Dog. I'm also at a loss why Christian beliefs are being judged, or whether they are being judged at all. The second sentence is okay, although putting “readjusted criminal” so close to “role model for our kids” seems somehow... contradictory? And the third sentence is missing its subject. Well, let's see what we can do about this!

“It's not about Christian beliefs or judging Dog; it's about a man in the public eye who calls himself a role model for our kids but falls very short of being one.”