Wednesday, August 29, 2007

First Blog

Hey everyone hope you all are having a good week so far. So this will be my first installment for the required weekly blogs. I would like to comment on the newspaper article that we looked at in class last Friday which is entitled Procrastination nation. While reading the article I was quite alarmed that it was actually printed in the Star-Bulletin. Not so much for the content, but I was flabbergasted to see the incredible amount of errors that consumed the short article. I understood the gist of the article and what Sakoda was trying to get across. However, the grammatical aspect and the lack of editing made the article a hard read for myself. As writers we can't say that we're absolutely perfect when it comes to our own writing. I've accepted that fact because of the insane amount of editing that i've had to do to my papers over the years. I'd like to focus on a paragraph towards the end of the articles which reads, "Our neighbor lost her spouse, I will bring over dinner for them to enjoy and spend some time with them. Under LDI, I see his child coming over for a visit once and awhile. Maybe they do not need the company." Since we are in an editing class I will try my best to try to fix this passage. I would write it like this, "Our neighbor has recently lost her spouse and I will try my best to ensure that her transition period will become smooth. Perhaps her child will stop by and visit her once and awhile. However, losing ones spouse is one of the hardest things in life to deal with and I will let her decide if she wants my company or not." I'm not sure if my edit sounds better or not but it's something that I would write if I was in his situation. Thanks for reading and i'll see you on Friday.


Pat said...

Very nice post, Ryan. I like what you did with the paragraph about the neighbor.

Thank you!

Don said...

Yeah, I liked your passage better. It was clearer to understand. Did you mean "once in awhile"?