Fighting Fires and Bad Grammar

Hello, everyone. This is a quote from a short editorial in Tuesday's Advertiser titled Many helped in effort to fight Wailua fire: “This dynamic fire evolved daily, and was fueled by dry and windy conditions, which created havoc and dangerous conditions for firefighters and threatened nearby homes. In the end, residential areas were protected, the fire was contained and injuries were minimized.” I see a number of problems here, beginning with the adjective “dynamic”. Does anyone really think of a wildfire as being static? Probably not, so there's no need to remind us that it isn't. Havoc is similarly inherent to wildfires, and--in my opinion--the term is a bit too general to warrant being used in an article without some further description or quantification (e.g. “the fire caused such havoc that even Godzilla was trampled while trying to escape”). To finish the first sentence off, there are four “ands” in the sentence, and the word “conditions” occurs twice in rapid succession. Thankfully the second sentence is a lot better, but I'd still switch around the order of the clauses to give them a more logical sense of progression. My shot at rewriting it looks like this: “This fire, fueled by dry and windy conditions, grew stronger daily until it threatened the safety of both firefighters and nearby homes. In the end, the fire was contained, residential areas were protected and injuries were minimized.” If you haven't fallen asleep yet, then thanks for reading and I'll see you on Friday.

Misplaced Modifiers

According to CliffsStudySolver™ English Grammar, misplaced modifiers are words or phrases that when read in the context of a sentence lend confusion, not clarity, to the meaning. Here is an example:

Incorrect: Having entered the theatre, the smell of popcorn overwhelmed us.

(The smell of popcorn entered the theatre?)

Correct: As we entered the theatre, the smell of popcorn overwhelmed us.

First Blog

Hey everyone hope you all are having a good week so far. So this will be my first installment for the required weekly blogs. I would like to comment on the newspaper article that we looked at in class last Friday which is entitled Procrastination nation. While reading the article I was quite alarmed that it was actually printed in the Star-Bulletin. Not so much for the content, but I was flabbergasted to see the incredible amount of errors that consumed the short article. I understood the gist of the article and what Sakoda was trying to get across. However, the grammatical aspect and the lack of editing made the article a hard read for myself. As writers we can't say that we're absolutely perfect when it comes to our own writing. I've accepted that fact because of the insane amount of editing that i've had to do to my papers over the years. I'd like to focus on a paragraph towards the end of the articles which reads, "Our neighbor lost her spouse, I will bring over dinner for them to enjoy and spend some time with them. Under LDI, I see his child coming over for a visit once and awhile. Maybe they do not need the company." Since we are in an editing class I will try my best to try to fix this passage. I would write it like this, "Our neighbor has recently lost her spouse and I will try my best to ensure that her transition period will become smooth. Perhaps her child will stop by and visit her once and awhile. However, losing ones spouse is one of the hardest things in life to deal with and I will let her decide if she wants my company or not." I'm not sure if my edit sounds better or not but it's something that I would write if I was in his situation. Thanks for reading and i'll see you on Friday.

Gatekeeping

A friend sent me this link, saying, "By the way, if anyone in your class is interested in nibbling linguistics, I thought this article, 'Correct American Gatekeeping,' from the PBS show Do You Speak American? was easy to get into. It's another perspective on an already complicated issue." Click on the title of this post to be taken to the article.

Editor Wanted

From Honolulu Weekly's website:

This progressive weekly is well known and respected for its prize winning political, environmental and community reporting. Candidates should have a degree in journalism or related field, as well as extensive publication experience and strong editing skills. They should be familiar with AP style, have management experience and the desire to create a great newspaper. The timid or the thin-skinned need not apply. The Weekly is produced by a three person editorial staff and relies on heavily freelance writers. Thus, experience recruiting, grooming and retaining freelancers will come in handy. Job requirements: Keep to a budget, edit and assign (and write) stories, manage the staff and put out the paper of choice for Honolulu's opinion makers and scenesters. The rewards: decent pay, a dependable, loyal staff, and the satisfaction of creating an independent and unique newspaper for Honolulu. Send cover letter, resume and references to lvc@honoluluweekly.com

Interview

Those interested in finding out more about the English 408 instructor can click on the title of this post.

Praise for Editors

My former student Sara, now working for a Hawai‘i magazine, told me about this piece by Gary Kamiya. It's worth reading by every student and practitioner of copyediting; just click on the title of this post to be taken there.