Thursday, September 20, 2007

Needed a fix

While looking through Wednesdays sports page, I came across a sentence that I thought sounded a little strange. The article was written by sports columnist Ferd Lewis and talked about UH quarterback Colt Brennan risking a chance to win the Heisman in order for his team to succeed. The column was flowing quite well up to the one sentence that I thought could be edited.

The sentence reads, "A refreshing outlook to be sure and not your everyday sound bites in this day and age as headlines frequently remind us."

If I was writing the article I would've written it like this, "Brennan's insights provides a refreshing outlook unlike the daily sound bites that frequent the headlines.

I thought that Lewis used too many words in the sentence and could have tightened it up. Since he used everyday I think day and age should've been excluded. Thanks for reading.


1 comment:

Pat said...

Glad you caught that, Ryan. I like your revised sentence, though I might change one or two things. What do you think of the following:

Brennan's insights provide a refreshing change from the daily sound bites.

This might be a little too compressed because it leaves out the reference to newspapers and their headlines.