Hi, everyone. These sentences were taken from emails sent out to all UHM students.
This survey will help us better understand the engagement of students in activities on campus.
My version would be "This survey will give us a better understanding of the activities students are participating in on campus."
We value your opinions and look forward to your participation in the on-coming survey.
I think they meant "upcoming." "Oncoming," which shouldn't be hyphenated, makes me think the survey is going to hit me head-on at 25 MPH because I'm on the wrong side of the road. :P
Again, mahalo for being such good hosts to our guests over these past several days and for enabling this event to be a success for them, for our campus, and for our Islands.
"Enabling" sounds strange to me in this context, so I think I would say something like "...over these past several days and for making this event so successful for our campus..." I also don't think "Islands" should be capitalized, and to be honest, I don't really see how hosting Toyota at UH benefits Kauai, Maui, or the Big Island, so I would have just left that out altogether.