Since this week we did an activity on parallelism, I found it most convenient that I discovered a sentence which needed some assistance in that very area. While reading online at honoluluadvertiser.com, I came across an article in the Island Life section written by Mike Gordon entitled "I'm off to tackle The List." Here's the troubled sentence:
A normal weekend is rarely enough time to do anything but yard work, attend two or three soccer games and a practice, and then surf.
And here's my attempt to even things out:
On a normal weekend, there's rarely enough time to do yard work, attend soccer games (plus a practice), and surf.
I tried to make my revisions without changing the author's voice. Hope I made the grade! :)
1 comment:
You did indeed, Chantel; great job!
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