Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Editing the president

The president of our esteemed institution just sent out a Thanksgiving message. I thought this paragraph needed special attention from an editor:
Every one of the top elected officials in our state have had their own lives profoundly impacted by the University of Hawai'i. They are our graduates, and in one case the son of a longtime faculty member. We are proud that our university continues to produce leaders for Hawai'i's future -- in politics and government, business, law, the sciences, medicine and health, engineering, education, skilled trades, and the list goes on and on.


Tisha said...

I'm glad to know you read these messages, Pat! Do you think they are downsizing in the president's office?

Yesterday I was looking at the plaque for the Bumpy Akaji sculpture in front of the new building on East-West Road, near the Biomedical Sciences Building. The plaque has an explanation of the sculpture, which includes the phrase ". . . takes precedent over . . ." This is really unfortunate because it is a powerful sculpture in a beautiful setting, but it feels diminished by the mistake.

Chad said...

My right eyebrow rose, too, as I read this curious passage in my inbox tonight. :)

Pat said...

Like Sarah Palin, our president may be a maverick who likes shooting from the hip. My guess is that she drafted the message, her secretary went over it once, and voila! It appeared in our mailboxes.

Thanks, Tisha, for bringing up the Akaji sculpture and plaque. I'll have to walk over and take a look.

As for Chad's raised eyebrow: is there anything more damning than that?